Tolstoy's youth chapter of dreams brief detailed content. Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy
I said that my friendship with Dmitry revealed to me A New Look on life, its purpose and relationships. The essence of this view was the conviction that the purpose of man is the desire for moral improvement and that this improvement is easy, possible and eternal. But until now I have only enjoyed the discovery of new thoughts arising from this conviction, and the drawing up of brilliant plans for a moral, active future; but my life continued in the same petty, confused and idle order.
Those virtuous thoughts that I went through in conversations with my adored friend Dmitry, wonderful Mitya, as I sometimes called it in a whisper to myself, still only appealed to my mind, and not to my feelings. But the time came when these thoughts came into my head with such a fresh force of moral discovery that I became frightened, thinking about how much time I had wasted, and immediately, that very second, I wanted to apply these thoughts to life, with the firm intention of never don't change them anymore.
And from now on I consider the beginning youth.
At that time I was sixteen years old. Teachers continued to visit me, St.-Jérôme supervised my studies, and I reluctantly and unwillingly prepared for university. Outside of studies, my activities consisted of: solitary, incoherent dreams and reflections, doing gymnastics in order to become the first strongman in the world, wandering without any specific purpose or thought through all the rooms and especially the corridor of the maid’s room, and looking at myself in the mirror, from which However, I always left with a heavy feeling of despondency and even disgust. My appearance, I was convinced, was not only ugly, but I could not even console myself with ordinary consolations in such cases. I could not say that I had an expressive, intelligent or noble face. There was nothing expressive - the most ordinary, rude and bad features; my small gray eyes, especially when I looked in the mirror, were more stupid than smart. There was even less courage: despite the fact that I was not short in stature and very strong for my years, all my facial features were soft, sluggish, and vague. There was nothing even noble; on the contrary, my face was like that of a simple peasant, and my legs and arms were just as big; and at that time it seemed very shameful to me.
The year I entered the university, the Saint was somehow late in April, so the exams were scheduled for St. Thomas, and on Passion I had to fast and finally prepare.
The weather after wet snow, which Karl Ivanovich used to call “ son came for father“, it had been quiet, warm and clear for three days now. There was not a patch of snow visible on the streets, the dirty dough was replaced by wet, shiny pavement and fast streams. The last drops were already melting from the roofs in the sun, buds were swelling on the trees in the front garden, there was a dry path in the yard, past a frozen pile of manure to the stables and near the porch there was green mossy grass between the stones. There was that special period of spring that has the strongest effect on a person’s soul: a bright, shiny, but not hot sun, streams and thawed patches, fragrant freshness in the air and a soft blue sky with long transparent clouds. I don’t know why, but it seems to me that in a big city the influence of this first period of the birth of spring is even more noticeable and stronger on the soul - you see less, but you anticipate more. I stood near the window, through which the morning sun through the double frames cast dusty rays onto the floor of my unbearably boring classroom, and solved some long algebraic equation on the black board. In one hand I held Francoeur’s tattered soft “Algebra”, in the other a small piece of chalk, with which I had already stained both hands, the face and elbows of the half-coat. Nikolai, in an apron and with his sleeves rolled up, was beating off the putty with pliers and bending the nails of the window that opened into the front garden. His occupation and the knocking he made entertained my attention. Moreover, I was in a very bad, dissatisfied mood. I somehow didn’t succeed: I made a mistake at the beginning of the calculation, so I had to start everything from the beginning; I dropped the chalk twice, I felt that my face and hands were dirty, the sponge was missing somewhere, the knocking that Nikolai made somehow painfully shook my nerves. I wanted to get angry and grumble; I dropped the chalk and Algebra and began walking around the room. But I remembered that today is Holy Wednesday, today we must confess, and that we must refrain from everything bad; and suddenly I came into some special, meek state of mind and approached Nikolai.
“Let me help you, Nikolai,” I said, trying to give my voice the meekest expression; and the thought that I was doing well by suppressing my annoyance and helping him further strengthened this meek mood of spirit in me.
The putty was knocked off, the nails were bent, but, despite the fact that Nikolai pulled the crossbars with all his might, the frame did not move.
“If the frame comes out right now when I pull with it,” I thought, “that means it’s a sin, and there’s no need to do any more work today.” The frame leaned to one side and walked out.
-Where should I take her? - I said.
“Let me handle it myself,” answered Nikolai, apparently surprised and, it seems, dissatisfied with my diligence, “we must not confuse them, otherwise I have them in the closet by numbers.”
“I’ll notice her,” I said, lifting the frame.
It seems to me that if the closet were two miles away and the frame weighed twice as much, I would be very pleased. I wanted to wear myself out doing this service to Nikolai. When I returned to the room, the bricks and salt pyramids had already been placed on the windowsill and Nikolai was sweeping sand and sleepy flies out of the open window with his wing. Fresh fragrant air had already entered the room and filled it. From the window one could hear the noise of the city and the chirping of sparrows in the front garden.
All objects were brightly lit, the room became cheerful, a light spring breeze stirred the sheets of my Algebra and the hair on Nikolai’s head. I went to the window, sat down on it, leaned into the front garden and thought.
Some new, extremely strong and pleasant feeling suddenly penetrated my soul. Wet earth, along which here and there bright green needles of grass with yellow stems were knocked out, streams shining in the sun, along which pieces of earth and wood chips curled, reddened lilac twigs with swollen buds swaying just under the window, the busy chirping of birds swarming in it. bush, a blackish fence wet from the snow melting on it, and most importantly, this fragrant damp air and joyful sun spoke to me clearly, clearly about something new and beautiful, which, although I cannot convey the way it affected me, I will try to convey the way I perceived it - everything spoke to me about beauty, happiness and virtue, said that both were easy and possible for me, that one cannot exist without the other, and even that beauty, happiness and virtue - same. “How could I not understand this, how bad I was before, how I could and can be good and happy in the future! - I said to myself. “We must quickly, quickly, this very minute, become a different person and begin to live differently.” Despite this, I, however, sat on the window for a long time, dreaming and doing nothing. Have you ever gone to bed during the day on a cloudy day in the summer? rainy weather and, waking up at sunset, open your eyes and in the expanding quadrangle of the window, from under the linen curtain, which, inflated, beats like a rod against the window sill, see the rain-wet, shady, lilac side of the linden alley and the damp garden path, illuminated by bright slanting rays, suddenly hear the cheerful life of birds in the garden and see insects that hover in the window opening, shining through the sun, smell the after-rain air and think: “What a shame I was not to sleep through such an evening,” and hastily jump up, to go to the garden and enjoy life? If it happened, then here is an example of the strong feeling that I experienced at that time.
The sixteenth spring of Nikolai Irtenev is coming. He is preparing for university exams, filled with dreams and thoughts about his future destination. To more clearly define the purpose of life, Nikolai starts a separate notebook, where he writes down the responsibilities and rules necessary for moral improvement. On Holy Wednesday, a gray-haired monk, a confessor, comes to the house. After confession, Nikolai feels like a clean and new person. But at night he suddenly remembers one of his shameful sins, which he hid in confession. He hardly sleeps until the morning and at six o'clock he hurries in a cab to the monastery to confess again. Joyful, Nikolenka returns back, it seems to him that there is no better and purer person in the world than him. He can’t resist and tells the cab driver about his confession. And he answers: “Well, master, your business is the master’s.” The joyful feeling flies away, and Nikolai even experiences some distrust of his wonderful inclinations and qualities.
Nikolai successfully passes the exams and is enrolled in the university. The family congratulates him. By order of his father, the coachman Kuzma, the carriage and the bay Handsome are at the complete disposal of Nikolai. Deciding that he is already quite an adult, Nikolai buys many different trinkets, a pipe and tobacco on Kuznetsky Most. At home he tries to light a cigarette, but feels nauseous and weak. Dmitry Nekhlyudov, who came to pick him up, reproaches Nikolai, explaining the stupidity of smoking. Friends, together with Volodya and Dubkov, go to a restaurant to celebrate the entry of the youngest Irtenev into the university. Observing the behavior of young people, Nikolai notices that Nekhlyudov is better than Volodya and Dubkov, right side: he doesn’t smoke, doesn’t play cards, doesn’t talk about love affairs. But Nikolai, because of his boyish delight at adult life I want to imitate Volodya and Dubkov. He drinks champagne, lights a papi-dew in a restaurant from a burning candle, which stands on the table in front of strangers. As a result, a quarrel arises with a certain Kolpikov. Nikolai feels insulted, but takes out all his resentment on Dubkov, unfairly shouting at him. Realizing the childishness of his friend’s behavior, Nekhlyudov calms and consoles him.
The next day, on the orders of his father, Nikolenka goes, as a fully grown man, to make visits. He visits the Valakhins, Kornakovs, Ivins, Prince Ivan Ivanovich, with difficulty enduring long hours of forced conversations. Nikolai feels free and easy only in the company of Dmitry Nekhlyudov, who invites him to visit his mother in Kuntsevo. On the way, friends talk different topics, Nikolai admits that in Lately completely confused in the variety of new impressions. He likes Dmitry’s calm rationality without a hint of didacticism, his free and noble mind, he likes that Nekhlyudov forgave the shameful story in the restaurant, as if without attaching special significance to it . Thanks to conversations with Dmitry, Nikolai begins to understand that growing up is not a simple change in time, but a slow formation of the soul. He admires his friend more and more and, falling asleep after a conversation in the Nekhlyudovs’ house, thinks about how good it would be if Dmitry married his sister or, conversely, he married Dmitry’s sister.
The next day, Nikolai leaves for the village by mail, where memories of his childhood and his mother come to life in him with renewed vigor. He thinks a lot, reflects on his future place in the world, on the concept of well-being, which requires enormous internal work on himself. Enjoying village life, Nikolai joyfully realizes in himself the ability to see and feel the most subtle shades of the beauty of nature.
At the age of forty-eight, my father marries for the second time. The children do not like their stepmother; after a few months, the father and his new wife develop a relationship of “quiet hatred.”
When Nikolai begins his studies at the university, it seems that he is dissolving into the mass of the same students and is in many ways disillusioned new life. He rushes from conversations with Nekhlyudov to participation in student revelries, which are condemned by his friend. Irtenyev is irritated by the conventions of secular society, which seem for the most part to be the pretense of insignificant people. Among the students, Nikolai makes new acquaintances, and he notices that the main concern of these people is getting pleasure from life, first of all. Under the influence of new acquaintances, he unconsciously follows the same principle. Carelessness in studying bears fruit: Nikolai fails in the first exam. For three days he does not leave the room, he feels truly unhappy and has lost all his former joy in life. Dmitry visits him, but due to the cooling that sets in their friendship, Nekhlyudov’s sympathy seems condescending and therefore offensive to Nikolai.
One late evening Nikolai takes out a notebook on which is written: “Rules of Life.” From the surge of feelings associated with youthful dreams, he cries, but not with tears of despair, but with repentance and moral impulse. He decides to write the rules of life again and never change them. The first half of youth ends in anticipation of the next, happier one.
Tolstoy's story "Youth" is part of an autobiographical trilogy and is the final book after the parts "Childhood" and "Adolescence". In it, the author continues to talk about the life of the Irtenyev family. The writer’s focus is still on Nikolenka, an already matured 16-year-old boy.
Rebellions and storms of a young soul in the story “Youth”
L.N. Tolstoy finished “Youth,” a brief summary of which we will now consider, in 1857, 5 years after writing the first story in the cycle, “Childhood.” During this time, the writer himself changed: he grew spiritually, processed a lot in his soul and consciousness. Together with him, his beloved hero, Nikolenka, went through a deep and difficult path of self-knowledge and moral self-improvement: from a sensitive, kind boy, he turned into an intensely thinking young man, persistently searching for his path.
Tolstoy begins “Youth” (a brief summary of it is before us) with a description of Nikolenka’s state of mind. He is preparing to enter university and dreams of the future and his high destiny. Having set himself the task of moral development, the hero writes down in a special notebook his thoughts, committed actions, responsibilities, rules that he must follow if he wants to become a truly spiritual person.
While confessing to his confessor, Irtenyev experiences a feeling of deep purification, closeness to God and special love for him, for people and for himself. Nikolenka is happy that he is so wonderful, enlightened, and he wants everyone at home and relatives to know about it. And at night, remembering another incident, he suffers for a long time, as soon as it’s light he jumps up and rushes to a new confession. Having again received forgiveness and remission of sins, he is unusually happy. It seems to him that there is no one in the world purer and more enlightened, but when, in an emotional outburst, the young man shares his experiences and sensations with the cab driver, he does not share his emotions. Nikolenka’s joy gradually fades, and his impulse itself ceases to seem so important.
L.N. Tolstoy's "Youth", a brief summary of which we recall, is structured as a kind of dialogue between the hero and the Youth. The youth is constantly engaged in introspection, condemnation or approval of himself. He persistently seeks answers to the questions “what is good?” and “what is bad?” But growing up, entering a new life, is perhaps the most difficult stage in the fate of every person.
Nikolenka becomes a student - this is a kind of pass to the world of adults. And the young man, of course, cannot help but stumble. He is friends with Nekhlyudov, a young man more mature than himself, serious, sedate. Not devoid of observation, Irtenyev understands that Dmitry is the person he should look up to when among the “golden” youth: he does not drink, does not smoke, does not behave rudely and cheekily, does not boast of victories over women. And the behavior of Nikolenka’s other friends, Volodya and Dubkov, is completely opposite. However, it is they who seem to Nikolai to be a model of “youth” and “come il faut”: they behave at ease, do what they want, party and have fun, and get away with everything. Nikolenka imitates her friends, but it doesn’t end well.
Tolstoy continues “Youth,” a brief summary of which makes it possible to understand the essence of the work, with the following “test” of Nikolenka: as an independent and adult person, he must pay social visits to family friends, behave respectably, at ease, confidently, have pleasant conversations, etc. d. Such visits are difficult for the hero; he is bored in social drawing rooms, and people seem mannered, unnatural, and false. The hero does not so much understand as he instinctively feels, so he is really at ease and sincerely only with Nekhlyudov. He knows how to explain a lot, avoiding a moralizing tone, holding himself on an equal footing with Nikolenka. Under the influence of Dmitry, Nikolai realizes that the stages of growing up that he is now going through are not just physiological changes in his body, but the formation of his soul.
Leo Tolstoy created “Youth” with special love, seeing in Nikolenka his dear older brother - the namesake of the hero, as well as himself. Hence the warmth and severity with which the author treats the main character, his For example, when Irtenyev sincerely admires nature in the village, he feels it deeply and subtly - this is dear to the author, because such a trait speaks of a rich man inner world hero, about his aesthetic vigilance.
In its final chapters, Tolstoy's Youth gives you a lot to think about. Having started his studies, having found himself in a new student environment of noble youth, Irtenyev initially begins to live according to its laws, moving away from Nekhlyudov. However, pretty soon the hero begins to see the light: in the world there is no place for sincere feelings, impulses, or relationships. Everything is replaced by conventions, secular decency and restrictions. This torments Nikolenka, he is disappointed in himself, his beautiful, naive dreams, and the people who surround him.
But when one day he takes out a notebook that is signed “Rules of Life.” Having burst into tears, the hero decides that he will write new rules for an honest, clean life and will not change them. He is waiting for the second half of his youth, which must necessarily be much happier than the first.
Retelling plan
1. The reader meets the matured heroes of the trilogy.
2. Nikolai goes to university.
3. How the young man celebrates this event.
4. Nikolai visits old acquaintances.
5. The young man meets the family of his friend Nekhlyudov and falls in love with Lyubov Sergeevna.
6. Nikolai’s thoughts about love, about what he read in books, about his attitude towards people.
7. The father remarries. They move to Moscow. Attitude of children to their stepmother.
8. Nikolai attended an adult ball. He's disappointed.
9. Failing university exams.
Retelling
At the beginning of the story, Nikolai is almost sixteen years old. His new outlook on life consisted “of the conviction that the purpose of man is the desire for moral improvement and that this improvement is easy, possible and eternal.” He was preparing to go to university. This spring, the young man indulged in dreams about his future honest and righteous life and about the woman who would be his happiness.
Everything has changed in their family. My father was almost never at home; upon his return he often smelled of perfume, he joked a lot and enthusiastically made plans for the future. Lyubochka remained the same, but Katenka became a desperate coquette. Volodya lives his own life. There is too much difference between him, a student who drinks champagne with friends and goes to real adult balls, and his younger brother.
It's time for exams. Nikolai did excellent in history and mathematics and was third among all applicants in terms of scores, which is why he began to be very proud of himself. His tutor taught him Latin, the young man read and translated quite well, and they were both confident that the Latin exam would go well. But the professor didn’t like Nikolai for some reason, and he began to fail the applicant, however, then he took pity and still gave a passing grade, i.e. two. This injustice greatly chilled the young man; he no longer tried to be the best and passed the rest of the exams somehow.
Finally he entered the university, we sleep for him: a uniform. His father, leaving for the village, left him two hundred rubles and gave him full control of the carriage, the coachman Kuzma and the bay Handsome. All the servants could not get enough of the young master in the new uniform and were very happy for him. Nikolai felt big and did a lot of stupid things. So, in his desire to imitate his older brother, who, after enrolling, bought himself tobacco and pipes, he went to Kuznetsky Most in his own carriage and spent almost all the money left by his father in shops. Returning home and looking at his purchases, he was disappointed in them and tried smoking for the first time in his life. It must be said that on the same day Volodya and his friends decided to celebrate Nikolenka’s admission to the university with lunch at Yar. Dmitry Nekhlyudov, who himself did not smoke and advised his friend not to get involved in this activity, found him smoking to the point of nausea. They stopped by Dubkov. He, Volodya and some stranger were playing cards for money, and this unpleasantly struck Nikolai.
At Yar, Volodya and Dubkov knew everyone by name. The young people were taken separate room, they ordered lunch with champagne, joked, told anecdotes, congratulated Nikolai, who tried his best to look like an adult and say smart things, but for some reason everyone was embarrassed for him. After the second bottle of champagne they drank, Nikolenka became drunk, left the room to smoke, and in the common room quarreled with some gentleman to whom he could not respond adequately. He took his frustration out on Dubkov by yelling at him when he made fun of Nikolai’s friendship with Nekhlyudov.
Subsequently for a long time The younger Irtenyev was tormented by memories of an unrequited insult and repentance for the undeserved insult that he inflicted on Dubkov.
When his father left, he left Nikolenka a list of people to whom he certainly had to make visits. This list included Prince Ivan Ivanovich, the Ivins, princesses Nekhlyudova and Valakhina, as well as the trustee, rector and professors. Dmitry advised him not to make the last visits, but the rest had to be made. When Nikolai was getting ready to leave, Grap and Ilenka came with congratulations. Irtenyev despised the elder Grap because he came mostly to ask for something and was unbearably humiliated at the same time, therefore Nikolai treated them coldly and, against etiquette, quickly left.
The first visit was to the Valakhins. Here he met Sonechka, whom he had not seen for three years. The girl changed a lot, matured, and after talking with her, Nikolenka imagined that he was in love with her. In the presence of her mother, Sonechka’s address, which had been so free and sincere, changed strangely. When Nikolai later told his father about this, he explained that the princess was torturing her daughter with her stinginess, while distinguishing her young secretary.
The second visit was to the Kornakovs, where the princess, as something long known, mentioned that Nikolai is the heir of Prince Ivan Ivanovich. This discovery unpleasantly struck the young man. The younger Irtenyevs once called the old prince grandfather in childhood and loved him very much. But for some reason, the knowledge that he was the heir embarrassed Nikolai. He nevertheless made the visit, feeling very awkward, although Ivan Ivanovich was glad to see him and was very affectionate with him.
On the way to the Nekhlyudovs' dacha, Dmitry told Nikolai about his feelings for Lyubov Sergeevna, who lived in their house, an extraordinary woman, in his words, much older than him, ugly in appearance, but with a beautiful soul. Dmitry dreamed of the time when he would live independently and marry her. When they arrived at the dacha, it was Lyubov Sergeevna who unpleasantly struck Nikolai with her ugliness. The rest - his mother, his sister, and his aunt - liked him extremely. Nikolenka would have been ready to fall in love with his sister, Varenka, if he had not already been in love with Sonechka.
He tried to impress everyone, that’s why he didn’t say what he thought. It turned out very awkward, but the Nekhlyudovs were very kind to him. It turned out that Dmitry, whom he idolized, talked a lot about him, presenting his friend as a “little monster of perfection.” Looking at these women, Nikolenka thought about what love is in general. Here the author distinguishes three types of love. Beautiful love is when they talk a lot and beautifully about the object of love and their love for it, mostly in French, and care very little about reciprocity. Selfless love consists of loving the very process of sacrificing oneself for the sake of a loved one, regardless of whether he needs it or not. Such love manifests itself only in exceptional situations, but under normal conditions it turns into boredom. The third kind - active love - consists of the desire to fulfill all the desires and whims of a loved one. People who love with such love seek reciprocity, and are happy if they have it. Nikolai also thought about why Dmitry loves Lyubov Sergeevna so passionately and does not value his aunt Sofya Ivanovna at all, who is attached to their family with all her heart.
The next day Nikolenka and Volodya went to the village. They arrived there at night. The old servant Fok, seeing them, shook with joy. They spent the night in the sofa room - the room in which their mother died. Waking up in the morning, Nikolai saw his father talking with Volodya. My father had a funny, special happy expression face, and his treatment of youngest son on equal terms made him love him even more. Father was going to go visit his neighbors Epifanov, which he said with a kind of shy smile.
Volodya was very bored in the village, demonstratively despising everyone at home. Nikolenka, imitating him. He also began to despise Mimi and the girls, believing that they did not understand anything in life. He slept on open veranda, where he was mercilessly bitten by mosquitoes, got up early and, in any weather, went to the river to swim, and then either read by the river, or walked along the dewy grass and returned home only for morning tea. He read a lot, mainly the novels of Dumas, Sue and Paul de Kock, and under their influence he constantly dreamed of exploits and adventures.
He thought a lot about life and his attitude towards people, whom he divided into people comme il faut (decent) and everyone else. A separate chapter is devoted to this concept, which “was one of the most destructive and false” in the hero’s life. Only people comme il faut were worth attention and respect. The signs of such people were for him excellent knowledge French, “long, polished legs,” “the ability to bow, dance and talk,” “indifference to everything and a constant expression of a certain graceful, contemptuous boredom.” Rest human qualities somehow escaped Nikolai's attention. He himself strived to become comme il faut: “It’s scary to remember how much priceless, the best time in my life I spent acquiring this quality.” “comme il faut (was necessary condition life, without which there could be neither happiness, nor glory, nor anything good in the world... The main evil consisted in the conviction that a person does not need to try to be either an official, or a carriage maker, or a soldier, or a scientist, when he is comme il faut ; that, having reached this position, he already fulfills his purpose and even becomes superior to most people.”
Soon the father announced that he was going to get married. He was forty-eight years old at that time, and his bride was not very young, but very beautiful Avdotya Vasilievna Epifanova, who lived next door with her mother and brother. The entire Irtenyev family, except Lyubochka, accepted this news without much enthusiasm, since the Epifanovs were considered not comme il faut, but, of course, they did not dare to contradict their father. The wedding was supposed to take place in two weeks, but Nikolenka and Volodya left for Moscow, as they were starting classes at the university. The father, wife and girls were supposed to return to Moscow in the winter.
Nikolenka began going to classes at the university. He found himself there alone. Those students whom he considered comme il faut people turned out to be uninteresting to him, and those he liked were not comme il faut, and the young man, in a conversation with them, for some reason began to talk about high position in the society and wealth of his family, after which the students ceased to maintain good relations with him. Nikolai did not take notes on his lectures, considering it unnecessary, but he went to the university every day, and during lectures he sat in the last rows and dreamed.
The father and his family returned to Moscow earlier than expected, as his young wife got bored in the village. She loved her husband dearly, but seemed to do everything to make him stop loving her. Avdotya Vasilyevna did not fit into the way of their home at all: she went to bed either early or late, she might not go out for dinner, she went around undressed until the evening, although her husband liked it when she was dressed up, she tormented him with jealousy and questions afterward. card game late at night, suspecting betrayal, which greatly irritated the elder Irtenyev. As a result, her father lost interest in her, and his love gradually grew into quiet hatred. Volodya and Nikolenka established a playful relationship with their stepmother. Mimi and Katenka did not like her. believing that she had married for convenience. Only Lyubochka fell in love with Avdotya Vasilievna passionately and sincerely, and only for her, besides her father, did her stepmother feel affection.
This winter, Nikolenka attended an adult ball for the first time, where he stood gloomily all evening like a pillar in the corner, despite the fact that he passionately wanted to dance, spoke inappropriately and not at all what he wanted, and came away with the most vague impressions from attending the ball. In the winter, he once attended a student revelry at Baron Z.’s, where it turned out to be boring, where everyone behaved unnaturally and constrained, and in the end they got so drunk that Nikolai was then very ashamed, and he was only surprised that the rest of the participants in the fun with They were happy to tell others about it. He continued his friendship with Nekhlyudov and often went to see him, but for some reason now he found much greater pleasure in communicating with his relatives than with himself.
The time for exams was approaching, and then it turned out that Nikolai didn’t know anything, and he didn’t have any notes. He began to prepare together with a group of students whom he considered not comme il faut, therefore, not worthy of attention, but in fact these classmates turned out to be cheerful, intelligent, widely read people who knew many things much better than him. They went far ahead in their studies, Nikolai did not understand anything, and the preparation was in vain. For the first time he realized that comme il faut is not the main thing in a person, but he himself continued to follow the generally accepted rules in his circle.
First exam. Having taken the ticket, Nikolai saw that he did not know it, and asked for a second one. He also could not answer the second ticket, and the young teacher advised him to leave the faculty. After the failure, the young man did not leave his room for three days, cried, remembered all his grievances and sorrows and did not want to see anyone. He asked his father to join the hussars, but his father, although he was dissatisfied with his son, did not find anything terrible in what had happened, consoled him and said that it would be possible to transfer to another faculty. In the end, Nikolai decided to start leading a righteous lifestyle, but he intended to talk about this in the next book.
The sixteenth spring of Nikolai Irtenyev is underway. He is preparing for university exams, filled with dreams and thoughts about his future purpose. To more clearly define the purpose of life, Nikolai starts a separate notebook, where he writes down the duties and rules necessary for moral improvement. On Holy Wednesday, a gray-haired monk, a confessor, comes to the house. After confession, Nikolai feels like a clean and new person. But at night he suddenly remembers one of his shameful sins, which he hid in confession. He hardly sleeps until the morning and at six o'clock he hurries in a cab to the monastery to confess again. Joyful, Nikolenka returns back; it seems to him that there is no better and purer person in the world than him. He cannot restrain himself and tells the cab driver about his confession. And he answers: “Well, master, your business is the master’s.” The joyful feeling disappears, and Nikolai even experiences some distrust of his wonderful inclinations and qualities.
Nikolai successfully passes the exams and is enrolled in the university. The family congratulates him. By order of his father, the coachman Kuzma, the carriage and the bay Handsome are at the complete disposal of Nikolai. Deciding that he is already quite an adult, Nikolai buys many different trinkets, a pipe and tobacco on Kuznetsky Most. At home he tries to smoke, but feels nauseous and weak. Dmitry Nekhlyudov, who came to pick him up, reproaches Nikolai, explaining the stupidity of smoking. Friends, together with Volodya and Dubkov, go to a restaurant to celebrate the younger Irtenyev’s entry into university. Observing the behavior of young people, Nikolai notices that Nekhlyudov differs from Volodya and Dubkov in a better, correct way: he does not smoke, does not play cards, does not talk about love affairs. But Nikolai, because of his boyish enthusiasm for adult life, wants to imitate Volodya and Dubkov. He drinks champagne, lights a cigarette in a restaurant from a burning candle that stands on the table in front of strangers. As a result, a quarrel arises with a certain Kolpikov. Nikolai feels insulted, but takes out all his resentment on Dubkov, unfairly shouting at him. Realizing the childishness of his friend’s behavior, Nekhlyudov calms and consoles him.
The next day, by order of his father, Nikolenka goes, as a fully grown man, to make visits. He visits the Valakhins, Kornakovs, Ivins, Prince Ivan Ivanovich, with difficulty enduring long hours of forced conversations. Nikolai feels free and easy only in the company of Dmitry Nekhlyudov, who invites him to visit his mother in Kuntsevo. On the way, friends talk about various topics, Nikolai admits that lately he has been completely confused by the variety of new impressions. He likes Dmitry’s calm prudence without a hint of edification, his free and noble mind, he likes that Nekhlyudov forgave the shameful story in the restaurant, as if without attaching special significance to it. Thanks to conversations with Dmitry, Nikolai begins to understand that growing up is not a simple change in time, but the slow formation of the soul. He admires his friend more and more and, falling asleep after a conversation in the Nekhlyudovs’ house, thinks about how good it would be if Dmitry married his sister or, conversely, he married Dmitry’s sister.
The next day, Nikolai leaves for the village by mail, where memories of his childhood and his mother come to life in him with renewed vigor. He thinks a lot, reflects on his future place in the world, on the concept of good manners, which requires enormous internal work on himself. Enjoying village life, Nikolai happily realizes in himself the ability to see and feel the most subtle shades of the beauty of nature.
At the age of forty-eight, my father marries for the second time. The children do not like their stepmother; after a few months, the father and his new wife develop a relationship of “quiet hatred.”
When Nikolai begins his studies at the university, it seems that he is dissolving into the mass of the same students and is in many ways disappointed with his new life. He rushes from conversations with Nekhlyudov to participation in student revelries, which are condemned by his friend. Irtenyev is irritated by the conventions of secular society, which seem for the most part to be the pretense of insignificant people. Among the students, Nikolai makes new acquaintances, and he notices that the main concern of these people is, first of all, getting pleasure from life. Under the influence of new acquaintances, he unconsciously follows the same principle. Carelessness in studying bears fruit: Nikolai fails the first exam. For three days he does not leave the room, he feels truly unhappy and has lost all his former joy in life. Dmitry visits him, but due to the cooling that sets in their friendship, Nekhlyudov’s sympathy seems condescending and therefore offensive to Nikolai.
One late evening Nikolai takes out a notebook on which it is written: “Rules of Life.” From the surging feelings associated with youthful dreams, he cries, but not with tears of despair, but with remorse and moral impulse. He decides to write the rules of life again and never change them. The first half of youth ends in anticipation of the next, happier one.
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