Priorities of modern life. How to set life priorities

Of course, everyone knows what “priority” is... This is a concept that defines importance, primacy. So, try to prioritize the following 5 categories: your work, yourself, your children, your partner (beloved man or woman) and your loved ones (relatives, friends).

For convenience, it is advisable to present these categories in the form of a table and, opposite each criterion, indicate a number from 1 to 5 in order of priority:

I myself (myself) __________ place
Work ________________ place
Children (child) ________ place
Husband (Wife) ____________ place
Parents, friends ______ place

If you don’t have children today, this doesn’t mean that you don’t give them some place in your life. The same is true if you are single, because hypothetically you still imagine what place a loved one will take in your life when he appears. You need to answer sincerely and honestly.

Now let's see what it really looks like.

At the first place: Regardless of gender, you should always be yourself (for both men and women). If a person is fine, then the other person next to him will be fine. Otherwise, it is the psychology of the victim to put someone above yourself. It usually manifests itself as “dependence” in relationships and this condition is more typical for women.

In second place: A woman must have a beloved man or husband. As soon as someone else comes between a woman and a man, prepare for the fact that problems may immediately arise. If you, dear ladies, really want intimacy and a warm relationship, then there should be no one between you and a man, not even children! If your husband puts, for example, his mother between you, then you need to correctly and patiently, with love, explain to him that this is not constructive for your relationship.

A man's second priority should be work. Yes, only this way and no other way. There shouldn't be a woman or children for a man more important than work. And if a woman doesn’t have enough of his attention, then she needs to take care of herself and make her life more interesting, so she will immediately become interesting to her man. It is in the nature of men to strive for achievements and results. And in fact, he tries for his family so that the family does not need anything and is proud of him. It is very important to be proud of a man!

On the third place: A man, of course, has a beloved woman. Not his mother, not his children from his first marriage. If this place is occupied by someone else, then it is necessary to gently and patiently explain that there can only be one adult next to the man. Otherwise, a harmonious relationship will not work out.

A woman has children in third place. If a woman has her priorities right and children are not a priority value compared to a man, then children will feel comfortable and comfortable in such a harmonious atmosphere.

In fourth place: And here the man’s children take an honorable fourth place. And children from a previous marriage too. Very often, men do not divide children into theirs and not theirs at all. They are all his.

For a woman, her loved ones are in fourth place. These are, first of all, the parents and the husband’s parents too. A woman’s important responsibility is to build kind and respectful relationships with her husband’s parents, and also, if possible, smooth out all conflicts.

In fifth place: The man has friends and relatives. If friends become of paramount importance, look for problems and problems in your relationship. Because a woman’s duty towards her man is to become his closest friend.

The woman's job is number five. A woman should ideally go to work to rest, since her biggest workload and main job is in the family. And if there is a man next to her who takes care of her, then the work most likely takes on the form of a hobby. If work is necessary to replenish family budget therefore, a woman does not work well in the family and does not inspire her man enough to achieve so that he can take good care of her.

Hello, my dear readers and blog guests! Life priorities are one of the most important components human existence. They represent overarching values. They converge for many people, but are placed differently. Therefore, one person can achieve a lot, while another stagnate for a long time. This happens because they have a different view of the world and their life priorities. It is very important to be able to recognize them and correctly systematize them in order to make your existence easier and achieve.

The essence of the arrangement

As a rule, the main priorities in people's lives come down to a few things:

family;
Love;
professional activity;
maintaining health;
studies;
hobbies;
self-esteem;
spiritual development;
chat with friends.

All of these things are completely achievable. It is only important to find out in what sequence they need to be distributed and how much time to devote to each. Usually people give preference to what is most important to them and what they cannot do without. For some it is a craving for nature, for others it is a love of art, for others it is making money. Some people put their family and children first.

However, priorities may change. Some come to the fore, others disappear altogether. It no longer depends on a person’s desire, but on the totality of possibilities for its fulfillment.

Sometimes aspirations lead to a goal and then the items on the list change. For example, a woman who is entirely busy moving up the career ladder may completely forget about it due to the birth of a child or the illness of one of the family members.

Therefore, it is necessary to initially set priorities so that they are influenced as little as possible from the outside. The success or failure of many plans depends on them.

You need to clearly define your aspirations, rank them in order of urgency or degree of need for implementation, and then begin to act in this direction.

Such a simple solution can help make a person’s existence more meaningful, and his successes numerous and reliable.

Consequences of incorrect prioritization

If a person puts his family, friends, or social good first, there is nothing bad or surprising about that. You just need to distribute your aspirations so that caring for your neighbor does not interfere with your own self-realization and professional activity.

Everything that makes a person happy should be at the very top of the list of life priorities. Under no circumstances should you refuse anything. You can simply distribute them so that you can devote more time and effort to something, and less to something.

If a woman spends the whole day caring for her children and depriving herself of the opportunity to admire the sunset or listen to her favorite music, she may experience a sense of accomplishment, but she will not feel true joy. But she will accumulate a lot of irritation. Therefore, you need to clearly define not only what you need, but also what you want.

Some people have five to ten items on their list of priorities, while others include thirty. It is unlikely that they will be able to complete them all. This will cause impatience and nervousness. As the person begins to feel that a large number of things remain out of his reach, he will feel more like a failure.

Therefore, the list of priorities should be periodically reviewed, and the items themselves should be swapped or varied. Those that will invariably appear in first place should be immediately started to be performed and devoted to them maximum energy.

How to prioritize in life correctly

Life forces us to do a lot without waiting for our desires to arise. Therefore, the items on the list can change very dramatically and suddenly.

A man who considered his main aspiration to be obtaining higher education, suddenly receives an offer of a highly paid job abroad. Then study becomes one of the items in the middle of the list, and a profitable position comes first.

As life gets back on track and professional responsibilities begin to become familiar and uncomplicated, studying at a higher educational institution can again become a priority. It will be even more important if obtaining a diploma becomes necessary for a promotion or increase in earnings.

If a person is lost, cannot decide what is important to him, refuses the necessary and rushes to the unnecessary, he will bring misfortune to himself and others. Therefore, clarity is needed in setting priorities. Too much in life and his loved ones depends on this.

For those who have not yet compiled such a list, it is advisable to start doing so. The criterion for placing points in it should be to obtain a feeling of happiness. If something brings satisfaction, but does not bring joy, you can safely refuse it.

For example, quitting a job you love for a highly paid but unpleasant and alien profession should hardly top the list of priorities. The fulfillment of this desire will bring a lot of benefits, but will make a person unhappy, perhaps for life. Naturally, this does not mean vegetating in poverty. Simply one of the main points on the list should be an increase in earnings. Then he will feel successful and can be proud of himself.

The need to follow life priorities

A scientific approach to the principle of arranging sequences in a list was proposed by the American scientist A. Maslow. He built a pyramid that includes the basic needs of a person, without which a full existence is impossible. If even one of them remains unsatisfied, people will feel trapped.

Life values are arranged as follows.

Physiology (food, thirst quenching, heating, procreation instinct);
No threat to life.
Love.
Respectful attitude of others.
Education and creativity.
Striving for beauty.
Self-realization.

This prioritization makes it possible to build a balanced life. However, even tested scientific methods ranking allows for changes or shifts in positions. If a person is well-fed and safe, he may think about looking for love. If he is in a strong marriage and is quite successful, then the respect of others comes to the forefront for him. Those who are unemployed or completely deprived of a roof over their heads have no time for aesthetic preferences - they are fighting for survival.

Every inner world individual. Every person has their own set life values, main priorities and principles. But they may well go against each other, preventing him from fulfilling his plans.

For example, a rich man who falls in love with a poor woman is sometimes unable to overcome prejudice or his own greed. Therefore, the need for a reciprocal feeling becomes a victim of more pressing priorities, which are to increase one’s wealth. In addition, it is important that he has an equally successful partner next to him. Such a man is capable of making himself, the lady he loved and his wife, whom he married to maintain status, unhappy.

However, if he followed the dictates of his heart and associated himself with poor woman, he would become unhappy due to a decrease in his position in society and fears that he is loved only for profit.

Therefore, a clear understanding of yourself, your true life values and the ability to give up what is not really necessary and necessary is the key to a full-fledged and happy life.

Setting your own priorities

It is necessary to take paper and write a complete list of what is really required, without which existence is impossible. This could be your wish list long term plans or individual values. Some will put the raising of children in the first place, some will prioritize caring for elderly parents, and some will prioritize career advancement. career ladder. All other points will become secondary, and something may have to be abandoned, completely or temporarily.

The list might look like this:

Job.
Health.
Taking care of the family.
Love.
Nature.
Music.
Sports activities.

It is clear that it includes, although simple, very meaningful points. At the same time, it takes into account the occurrence possible difficulties. Priorities are set in such a way that they can be shifted, but are not excluded from the list. In order to fully care for your loved ones, you need funds, so work comes to the fore. But, if someone gets sick, it can be temporarily moved to second place. You will have to reduce your professional responsibilities to the maximum possible, devoting the freed up time and energy to caring for relatives until they fully recover. Then the items can take their places again.

If a person is sick, it is clear that work ceases to be his main priority. Now all his aspirations are aimed at getting better, otherwise he will not be able to fully perform his duties and may lose his job and income. As you recover, the items on the list also change places.

Therefore, if it is compiled correctly, then the graphs may shift, but will not disappear. Moreover, there will be few of them in it and they are all amenable to human control.

It’s worse if he goes with the flow or desires get confused and creep on each other. A woman who worries about her children and demands high performance from them in school, while putting career aspirations first. As a result, at work she worries about her child all the time, and at home she does not have time to pay enough attention to school success.

A sick person or even a disabled person is so passionate about sports, especially extreme ones, that he is not able to give it up. As a result, the first place in his priorities is not concern for maintaining health, but a mountaineering trip to the mountains or winter swimming. In the end, he brings himself to a serious condition or even to death.

A man who loves his children more than anything in the world is infatuated with another woman and is preparing to create a relationship with her. new family.

In the end, it all comes down to the fact that he constantly reproaches her for making him unhappy, suffers at the thought of being separated from the kids and questions all their love. At the same time, he also torments his wife with his indecision, never making a final decision on maintaining or dissolving the marriage.

Therefore, it is very important to emphasize again. What should come first in priorities is not what is desirable, but what is necessary. Then you won’t have to fight with yourself, endlessly adjust your plans and bring grief to other people.

That's all for today, now you know how to prioritize in life. If you found the article useful and interesting, share it with your friends. See you again!

It is vitally important for every person to be able to correctly place emphasis both in work and in personal life. Priority goals and objectives are those things without which life becomes dull, gray and meaningless. Unfortunately, in the flow of everyday affairs, it is sometimes extremely difficult to place such accents. We're just passing by own desires, aspirations, goals, without noticing or not wanting to notice how your own subconscious screams at the top of your lungs: “Pay attention! Don't pass by! Just wait!” And we are in a hurry, in a hurry to do what we promised someone, to do what was imposed on us from the outside. Correct prioritization will help correct this situation.

Take time for yourself

There is one very simple and interesting exercise to get out of your routine and see life from a new angle. Every day for a week, whether you are at work or at home, take one minute for yourself. Set a timer and think about what you can do in this minute that will change your internal and external state for the better? What action could bring a little warmth and comfort into your life? Perhaps you drink a glass of water, or maybe open a window or go outside. These are the little things that we usually don't pay attention to: Fresh air, drink more fluids - it seems that all these instructions are for impressionable girls, and not for adults. Nevertheless, it is health is one of the most important priorities in the life of every person.

On next week try to increase this time, set the time for 5-10 minutes a day and pay attention to yourself. You will notice that you will try to spend this time on things for which you previously did not have enough time, which seemed unimportant, but now significantly improve your mental and physical well-being.

Wash the car, read a bedtime story to your child, enjoy the bath, read your favorite book. If you add up these actions, you will see that they revolve around several main directions in your life. Family, health, education, self-improvement, financial well-being, love, new experiences, friends - these are “pieces of the pie” called “life”.

In the flow of everyday affairs, worries and responsibilities at work and at home, we often forget about these priorities, being content with the pitiful crumbs of satisfaction from fulfilling parental or socially imposed orders. What's the end result? And in the end, “it’s excruciatingly painful for a life lived aimlessly.” In order to avoid this, it is enough to start living proactively. Avoid aimless existence. If you are already “floating with the flow of life,” then swim with a specific purpose, for example, like the Japanese samurai who chose the path of service.

Easy prioritization and harmony in the soul are determined by mental purity or the absence of mental garbage. What is mental garbage? This: negative emotions, psychological complexes, emotional trauma, limiting beliefs, negative attitudes, addictions and other rubbish. Freedom from this clutter brings the energy, determination, and clarity of thought that is critical to both prioritizing and modern life at all. .

Priorities: 5 ways to better prioritize your life

This may seem strange, but for each person, priorities are something unique to them. This happens due to the different values in each of us. For some, the well-being of their family is important, for others they put their whole soul into friendship, and for others, work comes first. But we can all balance our lives so that values, priorities and responsibilities are in harmony (by the way, it allows you to see how harmoniously you move through life). And we need to start with balance. today, in which to correctly place emphasis using prioritization methods.

The ancient Indian poet Kapidasa said that one of our days contains all the charm of the world. And indeed it is. If you want to make your life more balanced, create harmony in your day using these simple tools.

1. The easiest way

Make a list of things to do for the day and think about which one is the most important? Which task from this list, if completed, will give the greatest feeling of satisfaction? Next to this task, put the letter A. You may have more than one such task on your list, so rank them in order of importance, denoting them with numbers, for example: A1, A2, etc. Throughout the day, follow the resulting sequence of tasks (without fanaticism, of course). Summarize in the evening. Try to use this method of prioritizing whenever you are feeling tired and frustrated.

2. Role-based approach to prioritization

Make a to-do list for the day. On another sheet of paper, write down all your significant, priority social roles for you personally, for example: “I am a friend,” “I am a mother,” “I am a daughter,” etc. After that, divide your tasks into the resulting segments and rank them within each of them in order of importance. Throughout the day, perform the most important tasks from each segment sequentially, gradually descending to lower and lower levels of importance.

Naturally, you need to start with the segment that is the most priority for you. As you complete tasks, pay attention to your internal state. You need to track how well you have set your priorities. Perhaps, while performing some action, you will notice that at this moment your “soul hurts” for something else, or maybe, on the contrary, the day will go by like clockwork. Pay attention to such subtleties, draw conclusions and, when making a list of tasks for the next day, shift priorities in favor of those that turned out to be the most important to you. Setting priorities is a purely individual matter.

It happens that in the morning or during the day it is no longer possible to make a to-do list and rank it in order of importance. As shown life experience, the days when this happens cannot be called particularly successful. To return everything to a normal, controllable direction, use a tool such as the Eisenhower Square.

To do this, draw a square on any sheet of paper, which you divide into four equal parts with two vertical segments. Label the top two horizontal sections “Important” and “Unimportant,” and label the top two vertical sections “Urgent” and “Not Urgent.” Thus, you have four cells. If we mentally combine the vertical with the horizontal (as in chess), we get four categories of tasks: “Important and urgent”, “Important but not urgent”, “Unimportant but urgent”, “Unimportant and not urgent”. Every time you take on something, mark it in the appropriate box. The “Important and Urgent” category is, as a rule, “hot” projects, tasks that should have been “completed yesterday.”

“Important but not urgent” are proactive tasks that are important for future well-being. “Not important, but urgent” – all sorts of tasks that those around us are trying to “hang” on us. “Unimportant and not urgent” – empty time spent, hanging out on social networks, smoking breaks, etc. Obviously, it would be good to completely exclude the last two categories from your life, and after clearing away the rubble in the first category, pay maximum attention to the second segment.

This prioritization allows you to quickly put things in order during the day and not fall victim to a morning that didn’t go well.

4. GTD system (“Getting Things Done” or “How to put things in order”)

In principle, the GTD system is a wide range of actions aimed at optimizing all tasks associated with the life of an individual person. But David Allen presented his own principle of prioritization in a very interesting way. Everything is very simple. First you need to “unload” all the affairs and tasks from your head and write them down on paper. Once this process is complete, you can begin ranking. We divide all cases into four categories.

In order to correctly divide into segments, ask questions: “Can I do this task in one step? How long will it take? Maybe this is no longer necessary? Can I delegate this matter to someone else? etc. As a result, you will receive a clearly ranked list of tasks, half of which you can solve in the next fifteen minutes.

5. Prioritize based on goals

Describe your ideal day. Indicate every detail: what kind of family do you have, what kind of relationships do you have, how much do you earn, where do you live, what do you think about, where do you go, how do you live? Dream big, let it be small school essay on the topic “When will my life become good?” After that, imagine yourself on this day, think, what advice would you give yourself? What aspects of life would you like to pay attention to so that your life becomes the same as it is there in the future? Based on this image of the future, make a list of things to do that would bring you closer to its materialization. Organize it and begin to gradually implement it.

All of these prioritization methods do not require a ton of time. They require attention and respect, which is the most difficult task for many.

However, all the effort will pay off if you one day decide to live consciously and proactively, devoting time to the highest priority tasks and finding your own method of prioritizing.

“The main thing is to choose a priority in life and follow it. So I decided: on Monday I start doing gymnastics, quit smoking and stop going to bed after 24. And then everything will be fine, everything will work out,” Jackdaw crackles in my ear. We're on the subway and I can't hear her well, but there's no need for that, because the whole range of emotions about her determination to follow her chosen priorities is written on her face. She is happy, she is overjoyed, she believes in this bright Monday, which will come the day after tomorrow. Eh, Galya, Galya, as long as I remember you, you always set priorities in life and are always going to start them on Monday. One thing is good - time passes and you are ready for new... no, not achievements, but just plans for priorities.

What role does it play in a person’s life? right choice priorities?
Why do we often fail to follow our priorities, and after a while they often leave only bitterness?
Are priorities really that important in a person’s life, or are priorities only a “priority” for some people?
How to choose the right life priorities and follow them to the bitter end?

They say that if you set a goal for yourself, do it the main priority in life, then you can achieve whatever you want. There are many life stories that confirm this thesis. People set priorities in life, persistently pursued them and... voila, they built the life that most of us can only dream of.

But in real life For us, simple sinful people, for some reason everything turns out differently. We fail to achieve what we want even remotely. And, interestingly, in the simplest, literally everyday issues. For example, every second reader of this article has already sworn to himself a hundred thousand times not to go to bed later than 12 at night, especially on weekends, to finally develop the right schedule, like my friend Galka. And as a result? Surely one that you can’t boast about.

So what role do priorities play in a person’s life? Why is it easy to choose and set them before yourself, but to achieve them is such a difficult task?

Priority Priorities - Systemic Disclosure

Understanding the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, it becomes obvious that only one psychotype has the desire to set priorities in their lives - these are the owners of the skin vector. Planning life, setting a schedule, disciplining yourself and others, introducing time management into life - this is all what every person is drawn to. There are only 24% of such people, and other do not feel the need for such regulation of their own lives. They live according to other guidelines, for example, according to traditions.

In theory, it is people with the skin vector who should bring their best qualities and organize life not only for yourself, but for everyone. Sometimes this works out (for an individual or for a company) - mainly in the West, and then life is transformed: the person becomes a model of discipline and progress towards the goal, and the company breaks records in profits. The ability to limit oneself, rationally used by a developed leather worker for his own benefit, gives him the opportunity to achieve everything in the world. I set myself a goal to do gymnastics every morning - I did it, I decided not to smoke - I quit, I made a life schedule for the next week - I did everything. A person with a skin vector does not need additional incentives to fulfill these priorities in life; such an approach is a pleasure for him. But, attention, only in a developed, realized state.

But all this is ideal. But what happens in reality to a person’s priorities?

In reality, everything is not so simple. Firstly, we all, regardless of whether we have a skin vector or not, are subject to a mental superstructure. Russians are carriers of a special, urethral-muscular mentality, which makes its own adjustments. Discipline, restrictions, and logic are alien to our mentality. As a result, we rather rely on chance than plan something. We know how to set priorities, but they often look only like a declaration. It’s paradoxical, but we don’t even think about how to go about implementing these priorities. And the model of behavior that is implemented in the skin west does not suit us, but only aggravates the problems.

Those who do not have the skin vector, in principle, should not be guided by the skin model of “setting priorities (goals) in life.” But in the conditions of standardization of society, total access to the dissemination of information, we take as a basis not what suits us, but what is popular - even if it is complete nonsense. Naturally, it is simply not possible to achieve results from the implementation of priorities set in this way in life.

The Russian world and its special priority can only lie in priority of the whole over the specific. In other words, it is very difficult for us to do “for ourselves” and very easy to do for others, for society, for everyone together. Setting a priority “for yourself” will not give the same result as a priority “for the group”.

So that priorities don’t get shattered by reality

Priorities are an excellent tool for realizing your desires and plans. for a person with skin vector. But before you set priorities for yourself, you need to understand both yourself and the society that surrounds us. A skinned person will never be able to perform tedious work efficiently and scrupulously, even if he limits and disciplines himself a hundred times.

From birth, a person receives the potential to realize his true desires. He is unhappy not because he cannot achieve them, but because he does not know them, does not understand what he needs. He does not understand either himself personally or the mental superstructure that influences him. Only by realizing himself and others can he turn to right side, make a little effort and achieve happiness. A leather worker, realizing himself as a leather worker, puts everything skin-related as a priority: social and property superiority, savings, benefits. And at the same time, he understands that everything else is alien to him, which means there is no need to focus on this.

Today there is a tool with the help of which we have the opportunity to understand ourselves, to understand those important niches in life that can and should be made a priority in life. And personal, for the whole society as a whole. This tool is called -

Ask yourself a question - what do you really want in life? You can even write down your desires on a piece of paper, then analyze them. Desires may be different, but one thing unites them - having achieved your goals, you will feel truly happy.

It is happiness that is the main goal of any person - even if he himself is not aware of this. Therefore, prioritizing in life must take this point into account. If what you are doing now is not bringing you closer to happiness, something needs to change in your life.

This point is very important. The road to happiness is difficult, and there is not much time. Therefore, every step should lead to your goal. Everything that takes you away from your chosen path, away from your goal, must be discarded. Or at least relegated to the background.

Interests of other people

For many people the most important priorities in their life are the happiness, health and well-being of loved ones. At a minimum, many will say that this is exactly the case for them. However, this is a mistake. Yes, people should take care of their parents, brothers and sisters, children. They must be ready, if necessary, to give their lives for them. At the same time, you need to understand that even the people closest to you cannot and do not have the right to deprive you of your dream - whatever it may be.

A person can live for others - if this is his path, his choice. If it makes him happy. But if, due to a sense of duty and responsibility, a person deprives himself of his dreams, this is already wrong. People come into this world to become happy. To deprive yourself of happiness means to live your life in vain.

That is why do not allow anyone, including people close to you, to manipulate you. You have your own goals, your own path. Help your loved ones, take care of them. But don't let them rob you of your dreams.

Prioritization

Some people have many items on their priority list. This is wrong - you cannot embrace the immensity. If you have made such a list, cross out everything from it except the three most important items. It's up to you to decide which items to leave. But there should not be more than three. It is on these three priority goals that you focus all your attention.

Why only three points and not more? Because these are the realities - a person cannot effectively work on more than three tasks at the same time. If there are more of them, the efficiency of work drops sharply, and in the end it is not possible to achieve anything good result. Therefore, something will have to be sacrificed. Learn to discard the unnecessary for the sake of the main thing.

Changing priorities

It is important to note that priorities may change over time. This is normal - as a person grows up, his values change. At the same time, a change in priorities, if it occurs, must be evolutionary in nature and correspond to spiritual growth person. And it’s very bad when a person simply rushes through life, not knowing what he really wants. In this case, you need to go back to the very beginning and ask yourself: what do I need to be happy?

Never forget about happiness. You can acquire a huge fortune and still be a deeply unhappy person. Money gives opportunity, but it cannot replace happiness. Therefore, consider them as a tool, nothing more. Don’t chase prestige, career, fashion – look for your own path. The one where you will feel inspired, full of strength and energy. If you greet every new day with joy, if you clearly see the goal and go towards it, no matter what, then you have set your priorities correctly and are on the right path.