The phrase never. Eleven phrases smart people never say
Some phrases in conversation put you in a bad light, showing stupidity, naivety and immaturity. What phrases do smart people never say? Don't make these mistakes.
Words sometimes fail us, although we say hackneyed expressions. Based on the conversation, others evaluate the interlocutor and his level of intelligence. Watch your tongue.
What phrases do smart people never say?
1. “It’s always been done this way.” The modern world is developing very quickly and what was recently normal becomes obsolete within a month. This phrase demonstrates a person as lazy and incapable of change.
2. “It’s not fair.” Everyone knows that life is unfair. But whoever says this looks naive, stupid and immature. Try to speak more constructively and factually.
3. “You always...” Generalization does not allow communication to improve, but looks like criticism. A healthy conversation will not come out of this.
4. "I'll try." These words indicate that you doubt your abilities and capabilities. These are the words of extremely insecure and weak people.
5. “This might be a stupid idea/question.” Such phrases undermine your authority, and people are critical of your interlocutor in advance.
6. “I can’t.” When people hear this, they think it is the same as “I won’t” and “I don’t want.” It means you don’t try and don’t do everything possible, although you could.
7. “No problem.” When we tell a person something like this, we imply that it was a problem, but we neutralize our help and reduce its significance. It's better to say "please".
8. “He’s lazy/stupid/weird.” Disparaging words about your friend or colleague do not show you from your best side. By saying this, the interlocutor thinks that you can say similar things about him. You will be treated worse.
9. “I hate work/business/occupation.” Such a phrase makes a person a whiner, a skeptic and a pessimist. And they don’t like people like that.
There are phrases that should never, under any circumstances, be said out loud at work.
These words have a special negative power. They can make you look bad, whether you are right or wrong.
Remember that the word is not a sparrow. Having said these phrases out loud, you will not be able to take them back and correct the impression made.
No matter how subtle your remarks are, they can demonstrate your lack of self-confidence and work incompetence, which is very bad for career advancement.
You can be very talented and perform well at work, but the phrases given can forever change the opinion of you as a good employee and leave an extremely negative impression. The reason is the strong negative charge of these phrases.
Let's see which of them you have already heard or said in person.
1. "It's not fair"
Life is unfair - that's a fact. By uttering such a phrase, you show that you demand utmost honesty from this world, divide it into white and black, which is a sign of immaturity and some naivety.
If you don’t want to seem naive, you should abandon such a phrase and stick to facts and constructiveness. Interpret events in your favor. For example, if you are interested in a promotion, you can tell your boss: “I noticed that you assigned Anna to this project. Could you tell us why this decision was made? I believe that I could also apply for this place. Tell me, maybe I need to improve some skills?”
2. “I always do this.”
Technical progress does not stand still; innovations appear very quickly. And methods that worked just six months ago may not work today. By claiming that you always act only a certain way, you show yourself to be lazy, unwilling to learn new things, or retrograde. It may also cause your bosses to question why you aren't trying to streamline your workflow. Even if you always adhere to a certain work pattern, this does not mean that you cannot improve it.
3. “No problem”
Some respond to gratitude or a request for a favor with the phrase “no problem.” She may seem polite, but in reality she is hinting to the other person that his case could be a problem. The person may get the impression that he has burdened you with his difficulties.
On the contrary, you need to demonstrate to people that you are happy to help, especially if it is a colleague or boss. Phrases like “I’d be happy to help” are more appropriate. The difference between the words is small, but the impact can be huge.
4. “Can I ask a stupid question.../It seems to me.../Maybe this is a bad idea...”
The problem is that these phrases are passive; they can undermine your image as a confident person. Even if you come up with a great idea, its value will be diminished if people think you doubt yourself.
Don't become your own critic. If you are not confident in your words, then others will never believe them. If you really have doubts about your own knowledge and skills, you can say: “I don’t have this information, but I will definitely clarify this issue and let you know.”
5. “It only takes a minute.”
This phrase downplays your skills and makes it seem like you're literally tearing through the job. Except for situations where the task really takes no more than a minute, there is no need to give a strict time frame. It’s enough to say “it won’t take long.” Don't give people false ideas about the true duration of a job.
6. "I'll try"
The words “I'll try” or “I'll try” make your speech lack confidence and create doubt that you are able to cope with the task. You must take full responsibility for your own capabilities. Requests for work should be answered with consent or an alternative offered. But avoid at all costs the word “I’ll try”: it looks like you’re not putting enough effort into the work.
7. “He’s incompetent/lazy/stupid.”
Do not make disparaging remarks towards your colleagues. You will not receive any benefit from your words. Even if you are right about the personal and mental qualities of a person, everything is already in the know, you should not once again focus on this. And if the phrase turns out to be not very accurate, you yourself may find yourself in the role of a fool.
Get ready for the fact that in any job there will be incompetent people, about whose shortcomings all colleagues are aware. Criticism will only work if you can directly influence these people: help them improve their skills or, on the contrary, fire them. Otherwise you won't achieve anything. On the contrary, when you talk about your colleague's stupidity or incompetence, you look as if you are trying to stand out from his background. Rude phrases will make other colleagues think badly of you too.
8. “It’s not my job to do that.”
This phrase is too sarcastic. In addition, it looks like you are willing to perform only the bare minimum to earn a salary, but your job security will be in question.
It is better to carry out the boss’s instructions with enthusiasm. Of course, provided that what you are asked for is absolutely acceptable from a moral point of view, and the request itself is formulated politely and correctly. Only after completing the task can you discuss your position, the role you play in the company, with your boss face to face, and ask for a review of the scope of work or salary, if required. This will show your importance to the company. It will also establish a strong, strong relationship with your boss and give him a clear understanding of your job responsibilities and rights.
9. “It’s not my fault.”
Blaming an outsider or turning the tables almost always ends badly. Don't be afraid to take on responsibility, especially if you're in a leadership position, even a small one. Even if not, try to solve the situation: explain why the task was impossible, offer an alternative solution to the problem. Be clear about the facts in your story. Let your bosses and colleagues decide for themselves who is to blame for the situation.
You should always avoid making accusations. Otherwise, others may think that you do not know how to be responsible for your own actions. This creates a negative impression and makes people nervous. They will have doubts about the success of the business and will try to avoid working together. And if you fail, they will try to blame you.
10. "I can't"
This phrase is the twin of the one described above. People don't like to hear that you can't do something. They feel like you don't really want to do this. Saying “I can’t” shows that you won’t put enough effort into your work.
If you really don’t have the ability, skills, or time to complete the task, you can offer an alternative solution. Don’t talk about what you can’t do, talk about what you are ready to do.
For example, instead of saying “I can’t stay late tonight,” say “I’ll come to work early tomorrow.” Instead of “I can’t make the calculations,” it’s better to say: “I don’t know how to do this yet. Maybe someone can tell me what to do, and I’ll prepare everything?”
11. “I hate this job!”
This is the last phrase that bosses want to hear from a subordinate in the workplace. Complaining about your work and words of hatred are completely unacceptable. Such phrases, like no other, emphasize your negative attitude and can even lower the morale of the entire group. The boss may consider you a real destroyer of corporate ties; managers have a real nose for such people. In this case, they may find a replacement for you: someone more passionate and willing to do anything to take your place.
Just remove the listed phrases from your vocabulary, and you will immediately notice changes for the better. Remember that a properly structured conversation can bring considerable benefits. The danger of the phrases listed is that they tend to roll off the tongue, and for many they have already become a habit. Therefore, it is better to gradually change the way you think in order to get rid of negative and uncertain words forever. And so on until you learn to do without them altogether.
Quotes from great people that constantly pop up in the feed of any social network could illuminate the whole of Kyiv on a long winter night - so much light comes from them. For some reason, postcards with thoughtful phrases from anyone - from Socrates to Will Smith - beautifully printed on them have not gone out of fashion for several years in a row. But many of these aphorisms do not actually belong to philosophers, writers or politicians at all.
Everything is much simpler: either someone who wants to launch his idea into the masses attributes it to his idol, or simply over time the author’s quotes are confused, cut off and taken out of context. We did not take into account frankly absurd or humorous phrases like “Parting is always sad” (but there are also those who really believe that Socrates could have said this), but settled on popular quotes that can really be taken at face value.
"End justifies the means"
This quote is generally attributed to the Italian thinker and statesman Niccolò Machiavelli, who supposedly expounded on this idea in The Prince (1532), but in fact the phrase is taken out of context with a much more detailed description and simplified to three words.
“The actions of all people, and especially princes, whom it is unwise to challenge, are judged by their results. Therefore, give the sovereign the opportunity to win and maintain power in the state, and the means will always be considered worthy, and everyone will approve of them, because the common people are always seduced by how things seem and what comes out of it,” - approximately this is how the translation reads from 18 -th chapter of “The Sovereign,” which served as the basis for the aphorism.
Firstly, from the quote it is clear that Machiavelli emphasized the people's perception of state power, and did not argue that the end really justifies the means, and secondly, he could generally be ironic in this passage. Jean-Jacques Rousseau adhered to precisely this point of view: he considered The Prince a satirical treatise.
Later, a century later, a similar idea about means acceptable for the sake of an end was expressed by the German theologian and Jesuit Hermann Busenbaum and the English philosopher Thomas Hobbes, but their formulations were far from today’s simplified version.
“Whoever was not a radical in his youth has no heart; whoever has not become a conservative in adulthood has no mind.”
There are two versions of the quote: in the second, a liberal is indicated instead of a radical. Churchill did not say any of these options. Firstly, he himself was a conservative at the age of 15, and a liberal at 35. Secondly, his wife had liberal views all her life. A phrase close to the quote belongs to the conservative Benjamin Disraeli, an English politician and statesman who lived before Churchill, and it goes like this: “If you are not a liberal at 25, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative at 35, you don't have a brain."
“No one will make the first move, because everyone thinks that it is not mutual”
This “aphorism” is one of the leaders in appearances as reposts from public pages of smart thoughts on the walls of romantically minded youth on VKontakte. Without hesitation, it is attributed to Dostoevsky. For some reason, Fyodor Mikhailovich, like Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, is very popular on the Internet. All such quotes about love, difficult relationships and suffering are attributed to their authorship (which is just “Falling in love does not mean loving. You can fall in love while hating”). In fact, Dostoevsky never wrote anything like this either in his works or in his “Diary of a Writer”, where his reasoning concerned mainly socio-political and military topics.
“If there is no God, everything is permitted”
In addition, Dostoevsky is credited with another, more significant phrase - “If there is no God, everything is permitted.” However, he never wrote this down verbatim. This sentence was born from several phrases of the Karamazov brothers from the writer’s novel of the same name: “There is no immortality of the soul, so there is no virtue, which means everything is permitted” and “But how, I ask, is a person after that? Without God and without a future life? After all, it means that now everything is allowed, everything can be done?” Later, Jean-Paul Sartre referred to a simplified version of the phrase in his lecture “Existentialism is Humanism” (1946), calling this thought the starting point of existentialism.
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing.”
The phrase is attributed to the 18th century English politician and publicist Edmund Burke, but he never wrote it like that. There is only a vaguely reminiscent statement in his essay Thoughts on the Cause of Present Discontents: “When bad people unite, good people must also unite, otherwise they will fall one by one. The victim will not be spared in the despicable struggle.”
"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar"
The authorship is popularly reserved for the famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud, who saw a hidden meaning in everything. Nevertheless, there is not even a semblance of such a thought in any of his works. We find something similar in Rudyard Kipling’s poem The Betrothed (1885): “And a woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke.” smoke". - Translation, approx. auto.).
“There are only two infinite things in life - death and taxes”
This common phrase has been attributed to either Mark Twain or Benjamin Franklin. Neither of them are its real authors and have never said anything like that. A quote close to this statement is contained in the work Dancing Devils (1724) by the English satirist Edward Ward: “Death and taxes - they are sure to happen.”
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step"
This saying does not belong to Confucius. Sometimes this catchphrase is simply called a Chinese proverb, but this is also incorrect. The author of the quote is the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu. In the translation of the treatise “Tao Te Ching” the phrase sounds like this: “A journey of a thousand li (400 miles. - Note auto.) begins under your feet.”
"Insanity is the exact repetition of the same action over and over again, in the hope of change"
The popular phrase is most often attributed to Einstein, less often to Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain. None of them even suspected its existence. The real author is the English writer Rita May Brown. In her work “Sudden Death” (1983) there is a phrase that matches exactly to the letter: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
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Meanwhile, smart people have long figured out how to replace some taboo statements.
1 You were too good for him!
At first glance, this is one of those phrases that is usually used to console a friend who has experienced a breakup with her partner. However, in fact, this is partly an insult to her taste and evidence of her inability to understand people: “Well, you chose a guy for yourself, and how much time you spent on him!”
What's better to say:
He has lost a lot.
2 You look great for your age!
Why you shouldn't say this:
A completely neutral, at first glance, phrase turns in a condescending consolation: “Compared to other old people, you look even more or less.”
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What's better to say:
Wow, you look absolutely amazing!
3 I try, but I can’t!
Why you shouldn't say this:
A phrase that is forgivable for a 10-year-old girl. It's not very respectable for a grown girl to beg for emotional approval for not achieving a goal. It is better to either recognize the goal as unattainable, or completely change tactics.
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What's better to say:
I try as hard as possible.
4 I achieved everything myself!
Why you shouldn't say this:
From birth we are surrounded by people who in one way or another influence our formation and development. We, in turn, draw conclusions and learn something from what is happening. But it is rude to devalue the help of these people.
What's better to say:
Thanks to my parents and the support of loved ones, I was able to achieve this.
5 It's unfair!
Why you shouldn't say this:
Life isn't fair. You need to come to terms with this. By complaining about the slightest manifestation of injustice, you become inexperienced and naive in the eyes of others. Eradicate this phrase and replace it with something more constructive.
What's better to say:
For example, if your boss makes an unfair decision, in your opinion, you can correctly ask him: “What led to such a decision? May I know why you didn’t entrust this to me?”
6 Maybe I’ll say something stupid now, but...
Why you shouldn't say this:
Remember: this phrase prepares others in advance that your opinion will not be entirely competent. Such words are the worst choice for an introduction.
What's better to say:
I’m not entirely sure on this issue, it will be interesting to know your opinion.
7 I told you so!
Why you shouldn't say this:
A phrase that is always used just to point out people's mistakes, which none of us like. In such a situation, it is better to cheer the person up.
What's better to say:
Next time you won't make such a mistake.
8 Oh, I had this happen too!
Why you shouldn't say this:
This phrase can only be said to a friend who has just taken a pair of shoes to the store that didn’t suit her at all. However, you should not say this if she is sharing a personal problem with you. After all, she wants to talk it out, and not listen about how it was with you.
What's better to say:
Many people face this, but you will definitely overcome it.
9 Why are you inventing a problem out of the blue!
Why you shouldn't say this:
You can’t say that, if only for the reason that you are not the measure of other people’s problems.
What's better to say:
Very soon this problem will not be as important to you as it is now. Everything will work out.
10 You don't love me!
Why you shouldn't say this:
A catchphrase that can play a bad joke on you. Hearing your tearful “You don’t love me!” once, a man, of course, will rush to passionately assure you of the opposite, the second time he will coolly ignore you, and the third time he will think carefully: perhaps you are right...
What's better to say:
I miss you.
We all said things that took on meaning for those around us. An ordinary phrase spoken for encouragement can turn into a terrible hint - it’s all about the mood of a person who is capable of interpreting your every word in his own way. We simply do not have enough social mobility to accurately understand all the hidden meanings of what is being said. We are too focused on our behavior and do not notice the effect on the interlocutor - but not using the power of words to the full is simply stupid.
- I could
- Not a bad idea
- Wow, you've lost weight!
- You've really looked younger!
- However
- You look tired
- Don't be offended, but
- I could be wrong but
- As you know, many people
- She didn't deserve you
I could
The very beginning of the phrase tells the interlocutor that you are not going to do something. This formulation can be used in an extremely limited number of cases: if you are threatening, if you feel immeasurably superior to your counterpart, and if you simply do not think when you speak.
Not a bad idea
It just sounds great - “not a bad idea.” What does this even mean? Did you like it? You didn't like it and you just don't want to offend? Don't be afraid to be more definitive in your judgment. This is a much better solution than leaving your interlocutor at a loss.
Wow, you've lost weight!
A great compliment, indeed. It will be especially pleasant to hear this for a person who has always been embarrassed about his excess weight. An unnecessary reminder of problems is the best way to make an ill-wisher. Try not to make this mistake.
You've really looked younger!
Try saying a similar phrase to a girl. It would be better to perform this trick over the phone: even this way, you can be sure that you have gotten yourself into considerable trouble. Nobody likes unnecessary mention of years gone by forever.
However
This one word is enough to change the entire meaning of everything said earlier. “We are the largest company in this field, we can handle any order, however, this is exactly what we are not able to do.” Seems like a lame excuse. Don't diminish your dignity with such petty tricks.
You look tired
Tired people are incredibly attractive - they have dull eyes, tangled hair, problems concentrating and are, of course, very happy to see everyone around them. Statement of the fact “you look tired” has never helped anyone. One such phrase can ruin your mood for the whole day - that’s why you should remove it from your vocabulary once and for all.
Don't be offended, but
Double negatives have never brought anyone any good. By starting a sentence in this way, you are already setting the person up for self-defense. Everything you say in the future will not make any sense to the listener: he will only remember the main message. Don't use this phrase unless you want to deliberately piss off your interlocutor.
I could be wrong but
Another way to negate all subsequent words. Don't try to insure yourself against a possible mistake - no one will appreciate it. Do you doubt the correctness of your judgment, but think that you should express it? Deprive your words of all “saving” words and phrases. Confidence is what people remember first.
As you know, many people
Who knows? And who are these thousands of knowledgeable people? To construct a phrase in this way means to show in advance your ignorance of the subject of the conversation. A person who knows the material will not resort to such vague formulations, designed only to distract the attention of the interlocutor.
She didn't deserve you
Of course, after all, your interlocutor does not know how to understand people at all, and problems with his own self-esteem force him to choose a partner of a lower rank over and over again. At least that's how this phrase sounds from the outside. The ideal option would be not to interfere in other people’s relationships at all, but if this happens, then at least try to avoid such clichés.
