What do you need to do to let go of the past? Give vent to thoughts and emotions

What we spend our energy on - both positive and negative - accumulates over time. If you dwell on pain, regrets, and guilt, they will continue to haunt you. If you focus on happiness and joy, you will notice that there are more of them in your life.

You must have had situations in your life when you tried to get rid of stress, but as a result, you started to get even more nervous. Or they wanted to calm down, but found even more reasons to worry.

The same thing happens when we try to let go of the past. Until we turn our attention completely to something else, we will continue to suffer from painful memories.

accept reality

Do not deny or push away painful memories. You can't focus on a problem and find a solution. Because the solution is always not where the problem is.

Try to switch. To do this, first accept reality. Don't argue with your thoughts and feelings. Don't resist. Don't push them away. Instead, let them exist.

For example, to come to terms with your guilt, tell yourself: “Yes, I am guilty.” If you can't forgive someone you've been wronged, say, "Yes, I can't forgive that person."

That doesn't mean it's all true. It's just a way to control negative thoughts and emotions so they don't control you. By agreeing with them, you stop the fight. And if there is nothing more to argue about, then negative thoughts and memories lose their power. 1:0 in your favor.

Let something new into your life

Change always causes fear, especially when we do not imagine what lies ahead for us. This is one of the reasons why we cling to painful memories so much. After all, they symbolize that habitual and familiar, from which we are afraid to refuse.

To prevent this from happening, try to imagine as carefully as possible what will happen in the future. Instead of pushing away unwanted emotions, let positive ones into your life.

Focus on your desires

Mentally scrolling through our mistakes, dwelling on the past, we only get upset. This not only darkens the future, but also makes the present bleak.

Stop pushing away painful memories and accept reality. Say yes to worry, guilt, and other negative thoughts. So you can free yourself from their influence.

Then imagine how you would like your life to be. Focus on your desires, not on the past.

How the past can affect life in the present

You, unfortunately or fortunately, cannot change what happened to you in the past. You cannot make another choice, you cannot say other words or do other things. But what you can do in the present is to accept your past, be grateful for the experience you have gained, take into account and, if possible, learn from mistakes, turn to the positive events of the past as a resource that gives strength in the present.

But if you can’t separate your present life from the past, if past events or experiences capture you so much that they interfere with your life in the present, then you get stuck in them, you feel their influence now, when you are surrounded by other people and you participate in completely different events. . Childhood traumas, tears, resentments, difficult moments and partings do not let go, you live in constant tension, sleep poorly, see nightmares, face fear generated by your memories. Further more: various psychosomatic diseases arise, you are mentally and physically exhausted, in order to reduce anxiety, you start drinking alcohol, or choose any other way to escape from an unbearable sense of reality.

Reflecting on this issue, I would like to focus on the following points:

1. A person lives in the past because he cannot bear to be in the present. His life is empty and not filled with positive events, interesting people, meaning, in the end. And in the past, on the contrary, there were pleasant events, significant people, which are not around now, something else very important and valuable, which is now very lacking for a person.
2. A person is held in the past “against his will”: he is returned there by some unfinished business, unspoken words or missed opportunities. In the past, there are many regrets and insults that still haunt a person or mistakes that a person cannot forgive himself.
3. A person has not learned to take responsibility for himself and his life, therefore it is much easier for him to blame his parents for his troubles and failures, who did not give him love and attention, classmates who mocked him, or teachers who ruined his life by once giving him a bad grade. .

How to get rid of the influence of the past, if you regret that it has passed?

Realize that the past is a part of your life that is gone forever. Thank the past for the experience, pleasant moments, people who were with you. Take from the past the good things it has given you and use it as a resource in your life. real life. But do not wall off the past from what is happening to you right now. Surround yourself with interesting people and events, create positive memories right now! Don't erase the past from your life, just let it go. And direct your energy to life in the present, it deserves it!

How to let go of the past if it does not give you peace?

- Unfinished business: start by becoming aware of what keeps bringing you back to the past? Why is it impossible to refuse it in the present? Perhaps this is some kind of unfinished business or an unfinished relationship with another person. Think about whether you have the opportunity to complete this situation now, in the present? If yes, do it! If not, what's the point of regretting missed opportunities or unsaid words?

— Decisions and actions you regret: if some act of yours does not give you rest, try to remember what prompted you to act then in this way? Try to consider the situation from all sides, realize that most likely you simply could not do otherwise then. Recall the motives that prompted you to make this particular decision.

— Negative attitude to yourself: how do you feel about yourself in the past? Perhaps the whole point is that you just can not accept and forgive yourself for wrong steps, mistakes made and missed opportunities. You are a living person, and just like all other people, you are not immune from mistakes. But there is also good news: it is in your power not to allow more such situations in the present! (I wrote about how guilt for the mistakes of the past poisons our lives in the present in an article « » )

How to stop blaming the past for the unhappy present?

It is very convenient to blame the past for your failures in the present. After all, people and events from a bygone time are to blame for the fact that you are now alone and not successful, but not you. In this case, you do not need to admit to yourself that you are a failure, that you did not succeed in achieving what you dreamed of. You also do not need to make any attempts to correct the current situation, because minimizing the influence of the past means taking responsibility for your life and failures. Consider why this is your way of making excuses for failures, throwing up your hands and getting sympathy and help from others, as if a negative childhood experience made you disabled? Undoubtedly, the past affects your life in one way or another. But at the same time, it was thanks to him that you became stronger, more experienced, learned something.

Probably everyone knows that you need to let go of the past, but how can this be done? Past grievances, suffering, failed relationships - all this is a burden that will constantly drag you down until you get rid of it. Of course, this is not easy to do, and it cannot be done in an instant, but ... This can be done by working on yourself for a long time. If you want to improve your life and dedicate yourself today and the future, not the past, here you will find the answer to how this can be done.

How to let go of the past life?

How to let go of the past life? There is a whole step by step process:

1. Understand that the past is also an experience

Sometimes we feel shame and regret for what we once did. These feelings do nothing to let go of the past. Why is this happening? The fact is that our moral principles have changed over time, and now what seemed acceptable to us before is no longer so. So should you blame yourself for this? Naturally, no. Because it turns out that you feel shame because you continue to develop. Not very logical, right?

1. The past is in the past

Of course, it sounds rather banal, but it's true - the past is what has already passed. Accordingly, you cannot change it. What remains to be done? Just accept it and let it go. Once you understand this, it will be much easier.

Eat good exercise- write a list of what you would like to redo. Think of situations in the past where you would have acted differently now. What exactly would you do wrong? Why would you change your mind? This exercise is a pretty good and effective psychological move. It will help you analyze your past mistakes and make sure you don't repeat them again.

1. Stick to your moral values

If the thoughts of the past do not give you peace, use one trick. Learn how every time a negative thought from the past comes to mind, replace it with a positive and productive one. You will see, over time you will realize that you can control almost every thought you have. And the negative from the past will no longer have power over you.

1. Reflection

Naturally, it is very difficult to constantly mentally return to those situations that hurt you, but for a complete “cure” it is simply necessary. The next time you remember the most unpleasant situation for you from the past, try to look at it as if from the outside. Imagine that this is not happening to you, but you are just observing the situation. This will help you put aside all emotions, and see the whole situation more "soberly".

1. The obvious must be accepted

Think if you beat yourself up for the mistakes you made in the past all your life, it will help you feel better? Definitely not. That is why you need to do what psychologists call " general cleaning consciousness." Stop lying to yourself, sort out all the situations that are unpleasant for you, analyze them. Understand what exactly brought you discomfort, what you feel and what causes these feelings. By realizing the cause of your suffering, you will be one step closer to getting rid of it.

1. Turn the old page

After you understand the situations of the past, and accept them, you can turn this old page of your life. Understand that you are no longer the person you used to be. Moreover, those events from your past life also helped you become what you are now. Perhaps then it was a necessity for you to learn something and realize something.

1. Let yourself rest

You have just realized that what has been tormenting you for years is finally gone. Naturally, it will be difficult to immediately start a new life. Give yourself the opportunity to relax and enjoy the peace that you now feel. It's like learning a sport - you won't be able to swim perfectly right away, you will need time to learn. It's exactly the same with life. Don't push yourself, there's more to come!

1. love yourself again

The last, but probably the most important step in letting go of the past is to love yourself again. Listen to your desires and your intuition, be a good and faithful friend for yourself, respect yourself, love yourself ... And, most importantly, never again think that you are the source of all problems. This is wrong. Find books on this topic, watch motivating films... And, most importantly, realize that now you are free from the burden of the past and ready to move on.

Let go of the past - get the future

“Let go of the past - you will get the future” is a truth that everyone knows, but not everyone follows it. If you want something new to come into your life, then, first of all, you have to let go of something old. You will see, having said goodbye to past grievances and situations, something good and new will definitely come into your life. You've already made room for him!

Each person remembers moments from the past as something warm, dear, pleasant. The feeling of nostalgia is common to all people, but in some cases it goes beyond the permissible. This is expressed in the constant comparison of the past with the present, regret about lost time and opportunities, unwillingness to think about the future and make plans. Such a situation can be dangerous, because a person gradually drives himself into a deep depression, his condition worsens, and he convinces himself that the best years are behind him. You need to try to let go of the past and start living in the present - to experience new emotions, fulfill your desires, plan for the near future.

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Introspection and self-development

Forgetting the past forever is a task that requires patience and willpower. If a decision is made to stop thinking about past events and get rid of feelings of regret, then you need to engage in introspection. A person will find answers to exciting questions himself, and the methods used in psychology will help him in this.

To get rid of a feeling of regret about events from the past, you should understand what it is for. Each person should analyze the situation and sort out their feelings by answering some questions:

1. 1. Why there is a longing for the past and a feeling that life used to be better. The answers to this question may be different: longing for dead friends or relatives, regret about the breakup of long-term relationships, awareness of one's mistakes, thoughts that one could have done differently and now life would be good. It is worth understanding that what is lost will never return. And to linger on the past and ignore the present is a waste of time. It is important to understand that it is possible to live in the present moment in such a way as to remember it in the future. And the feelings that a person will experience years later will be similar to those that he is experiencing now, looking back.
2. 2. What needs to be done in the present so that it is not worse than in the past? If the problem is loneliness or the inability to apply oneself in some work area, then efforts must be made to correct this situation. It is recommended to captivate yourself with something, find new friends, self-develop and improve yourself. A person who has occupied himself with something interesting will not have time for self-torture with thoughts about the past tense.
3. 3. Why is the past ideal? We need to find the answer to the question why now it seems that everything was perfect before. It is important to understand that in the past there were also problems that needed to be solved, longing, and sad thoughts also came to mind. The ideal image of a past life is just a romanticization of some events that have been deposited in memory. Sometimes remembering the moment is much more pleasant than living it, and this is worth remembering.
4. 4. Why does regretting the past make you happy in the moment? Nostalgic memories warm the soul and make you immerse yourself in a special atmosphere, from which a person feels comfortable. But the past is far away, and this must be accepted. IN in the present there is a lot of what people dreamed about in the past, but they do not notice this, as they are immersed in their own suffering about the past and the irretrievable.
5. 5. What needs to be done so that what you dreamed about in the past appeared now? Previously, each person had some kind of need, which either disappeared over time, or the person had already received what he wanted or was disappointed in him. For example, in childhood, people often imagine themselves in some profession. If now a person has received an education and has a good position, then why is he dissatisfied with his work? If he is disappointed in him, then you should set yourself a new goal and move on.

In the process of introspection, other questions will arise. You should not demand answers from yourself right away, you should think, comprehend what is happening. In the end, a person will have a picture that will clarify some points and make him take a fresh look at himself, as well as at the past, present, and future.

How to stop having bad thoughts

How to get rid of the past?

Questions asked to oneself will help clarify the overall picture of life, but what actions a person should take is not clear to many. You need to understand each specific situation taking into account the nature of people.

But general rules nevertheless exist. Special attention worth paying attention to:

• Old things, reminiscent of the past. These are children's toys, and old love letters, and clothes, and equipment. To break ties with the past forever, it is worth throwing these items away. If it is a pity to throw them in the trash, then you should give them to someone, sell them or hide them in some place inaccessible to yourself. You can ask friends, relatives or parents to keep them for safekeeping.
• In addition to material things, you should pay attention to music, films and other works that remind of people and events that have passed away. No need to listen to songs that bring back memories that make you feel sad.
• Memorial places should not be visited. You can't walk the streets that cause nostalgia, especially when the goal is to live new life and get rid of bad thoughts. If you have the opportunity to move, change your place of work or study, then you should do it.
• The same goes for people who are connected in some way to the past. We are not talking about relatives or close friends, but with ex-wives, husbands, sexual partners, communication should be interrupted. Especially if the cause of suffering lies in these people.
• Necessary

Greetings, my dear readers! Each of us has our own skeletons in the closet. We keep secrets, keep our secrets, and often cling to the past. But sometimes it makes it very difficult to achieve happiness in the present. Why are we doing this? How to fix it? How to let go of the past and start living in the present? Today I will tell you why ghosts from the past are dangerous, why you need to get rid of old grievances as soon as possible and how to do it.

To begin with, I want to advise you a wonderful book: Alexander Sviyash " Start life again! 4 steps to a new reality". In it you will find not only colorful examples of how the past interferes with us, but also learn how to learn to live differently, become a completely different person and achieve inner harmony.

Ghosts from the past

Why is it so difficult for a person to let go of the past? The past is well known to us, understandable, stable. I'll give you an example. One of my clients could not forget her beloved man, who left her for another woman. She knew him as flaky, all his manners, what he loves and what he hates. She was comfortable in those relationships. So there was no way she could let it go and start something new. She was afraid.

I suggest you just communicate. Find new interesting people. You are not obliged to let them into your life, just collect positive energy from them, recharge with positive.

Make plans, set tasks, achieve a little success at first and so move from one to another. Don't try to conquer the world right away. Start by making your goal small and easily achievable.

Get creative. Remember, every person has genius potential. You are a creator. Creator of your life. Create and be happy!

What story from the past haunts you? What are you doing to start living today? What is holding you? What can't you get rid of?

Forgive, let go, raise your head higher and move forward.
Good luck to you!